WARNING - CONTROVERSIAL CONTENT
'Parent sacrifices related to success' is a subject seeping with controversy, but it's so important to discuss...
With the School Holidays coming up I want to expose the BIGGEST LIE female business owners are told about!
‘If you don’t sacrifice for what you want, what you want will be sacrificed.’
I 100% agree with the statement above. So many women are sold the lie that ‘you can have it all’ but the problem is, ‘all’ is subjective from person to person.
A ‘few’ minutes of kindle time to my 5 year old is lot more than the ‘few’ I was meaning.
So What Parent Sacrifices Should We Make?
When we hear the likes of Gary V shouting messages about ‘hustle and grind’ the over worked mother and business owner can get angry because the only thing they feel like they have left to give is blood! And when we hear the likes of James Wedmore talk about a business by design that works for you so you can release time to do the things you love, it makes you want to kiss him. Both of these people polarise perfectly and I love them both!
But in the wrong hands, both these pieces of ‘advice’/messages will ruin your success. The excuse maker will lap up James Wedmores' message, and the workaholic could take Gary’s message and run themselves into the ground taking pointless action and hitting burnout.
Experience Shapes Opinion So...
Here’s what I believe as a mother of a 5 year old and as a serious business owner.
- You can’t have it all!
- You can’t live your life at a perfect balance of zero, nothing would ever get done. A business is hard work and it WILL eat into your family/social time particularly in the beginning when you’re testing out what works and what doesn’t and to be honest, that trial and error never really stops because it’s essential to watch your business grow.
- Having a business isn’t for the faint hearted, in fact if you want to be able to have totally uninterrupted family time, you’d be better off getting a job where you can leave your work at the door and go and enjoy your holiday.
The Controversial Part...
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I don’t spend quality time with my daughter and partner, I absolutely do, but unless there’s a crisis or an emergency I put my business at the same level as I put them.
I know that last line will probably shock and put off a few people but at the end of the day if you want a successful business you have to be willing to put in the work where it’s needed and put in the boundaries of where to stop so that you can ensure you spend that IMPORTANT time with your loved ones and with yourself doing the things you love. But it’ll never be perfect, some weeks you’ll make more parent sacrifices and be working what seems like ‘all hours’, others will be less, meaning less parent sacrifices to be made, and you can spend more time nurturing personal time. But to think it will be a perfect and consistent schedule where you never break the ‘it’s 5pm so it’s time to stop’ rule on the odd occasion isn’t realistic when it comes to creating success.
I used to pay a significant amount on childcare so that I could spend the necessary time on my business.And guess what?- during the school holidays, I still do! Personally, I think if you’re starting a business because you want to spend more time with your kids… you’re kidding yourself. Yes it provides more flexibility but those hours still need to be put in.
No More Excuses...
I see so many people using the excuse (yes, I said excuse) of family time because they’ve lost passion for their business, or they don’t really know WHAT they should be doing to grow their business, or in fact have no interest what so ever in growing from where they are. On that last point that’s totally cool if you’re aware of that and are happy with that decision. For those that want to grow and build an empire business and become a name in the market, you have to be IN LOVE with the game, you have to have a game plan and you must be committed to playing it, win or lose!
I’m the kind of person who needs boundaries to stop work, because continuous pointless action WILL lead to burnout and neglect but I still very much believe in Gary’s message. Do what is necessary if you want to see results. It’s all about priorities.
Don’t expect ALL the success if you only work when you ‘feel’ like it or when it's convenient.
What do you think about making parent sacrifices for your success?